If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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