Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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