We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
