I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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