hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it hurts more in the daytime
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
