Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
