So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize