I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
