Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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