I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
