never play flip cup with pint glasses
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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