You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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