I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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