I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
