ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
