At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
