I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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