if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
