hell yes lets make some ravioli
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
