Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
