No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
