Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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