Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
