She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
