The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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