At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
