We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
