Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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