i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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