I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i believe in u and ur pee
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
