a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
