it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
