I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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