Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
