im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
