dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
