another moral hangover. fuck.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
