He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
