buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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