Where is the hickey?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
