yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
