At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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