i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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