Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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