The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
