i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
