I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
