Porn is love you can see.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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