She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
