We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
