i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
