you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
nutella sex= disaster
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
