dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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