woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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