He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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