I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
