i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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